{ A Bump in the Road }

Well, in case you haven't heard or figured out what happened to us, I better fill you all in. I have felt pretty good since I found out I was pregnant. Never got sick or anything. But last Friday I started feeling pretty yucky. I didn't think too much of it, but by Sunday night I was in pain. If we hadn't had our doctor appointment scheduled for the next morning, I probably would have gone in. I was cramping, bleeding, and just had a terrible feeling. That night DRAGGED on, and I just wanted it to be morning so we could go see Dr. Bailey and find out what was going on. 11:00 Monday morning finally came and when we went to the doctor, he decided to do an ultrasound to see what was going on. As I feared, we found out we lost the baby at nine weeks. After the ultrasound we had to go back in to talk to Dr. Bailey and I was trying so hard to just hold it together until we got to the car. But he is so nice, and that makes it a million times worse! So I lost it and started bawling. I could tell he felt so bad. But he had to give us the talk about how we WILL get pregnant again and this is just a bump in the road, etc. When we finally got to the car, I cried most of the way home. As the day was progressing the pain was getting worse and worse, so when we got home we tried to just fall asleep for a while. 

When we woke up, I was feeling better emotionally. Me and Kenz talked about it, and we truly believe that everything happens for a reason. I don't know what the reason is for this, but I trust that it is for the best. I have found that having a positive attitude about it is making it easier for me to move on with my life and do my day to day things. 

The greatest thing that has come from this has been the reminder of the amazing people we have in our lives. My family brought me the cutest little care package with a bunch things I love! My dad took us to dinner.The college boys who work swing shifts at Oxbow brought me flowers and chocolate on my first day back to work. And I have had so many people call, text, or come visit and let me know they are thinking about us. It seriously means so much to us to have the support we do from our family and friends. I was regretting announcing our pregnancy so early because now we have to tell everyone what happened, but I have realized that it has been worth it to have so much support this week. 

I know we will have kids. Someday. Maybe we just aren't ready yet. But eventually it will happen and it will be the perfect time in our lives to get a perfect baby. But until then, I have realized that I need to just enjoy my life as it is, spend more time with my husband, go on adventures, do things that I will never be able to do once we are settled down with a family. Mostly I have realized I need to just appreciate what I do have and stop always wanting what I don't. I have a great life. But I find myself always wanting more. I have the house and the car and the husband and the good job, and I can't just be satisfied with having a great life. I think that is the way society is, and I think that it is important to have goals and hopes for your future. But I do feel like I spend so much time thinking about what I want next, that I don't stop to appreciate what I have now. So that is what I am going to take away from this experience. I am relieved and happy to know that I can get pregnant. And I know that in the future we will have that. But for now, I am going to enjoy my life as it is and make sure people know how much I appreciate them. 

Of course I have to end my post with blabbing about how freaking amazing my husband is. Seriously he has been so sweet. He knew if he started crying this week I would lose it (I hate seeing him cry, it is the saddest thing ever!) so he held it in, but I know Monday night when I wasn't with him he cried it out all alone. He called into work and stayed home with me so I wasn't alone. He called our boss and told him so I wouldn't have to go to work the next day. He dealt with this all alone so he could be there 100% for me. It is strange to say, but I am so thankful for these hard, trying times we have had in our marriage because it makes me remember just how amazing he is. I couldn't ask for a better guy and I am looking forward to some great times with him this year! 

A little quote to leave you with: