A Good Person

I have something that I have been wanting to blog 

about for quite some time now,

but haven't really known exactly what to say

and didn't want to offend anyone or

make anyone think any less of me.

But I need to get some of these feelings out.

My testimony is not strong.

Since about this time last year we have had several things happen

( especially lately)

that have made me really question a lot of things.

We aren't active in the church.

We do things that are frowned upon by the church.

Are we bad people?

We still believe in God and Jesus and the Holy Ghost.

But I do not feel that the church is being ran the

way that Heavenly Father intended it.

And that makes it very hard for me to go

and to pay my tithing and to sit in relief society and get judged.

Mostly I just want to know...

What makes you a good person?

I know so many people who drink and swear

that are great people and who would do anything in the world for you.

I have had some of these people show up to 

help me when I needed someone the most.

I can't even begin to describe how wonderful some of

the people in my life are.... who aren't active in the church.

I get a warm and welcomed feeling when I am with these people.

And it so hard for me to believe that these people

are going to be turned away by Jesus when they try to go to heaven

or will be denied the opportunity to be with their families forever.

Maybe this is just a phase we are going through.

Or maybe I am making a major change in my life.

I just know that I want to be a good person.
And I feel like I have been a better person this last year

than I have been my whole life.

I need some direction!
Does anyone else feel this way sometimes??