One Life to Live

Hold on tight, cuz it's about to get deep! 

I received the most profound advice a couple weeks ago and I just had to share it and talk about the effect it had on me. After I miscarried, I went through a little rut. I was questioning everything; what I wanted to do with my life, who I wanted to be, and what the next move was for me. I was so confused because I have always been pretty sure about who I am and what I want, but I had no idea what I was supposed to do with this situation I had been dealt. Did it mean that I was supposed to be relieved that I knew I could get pregnant and try again right away? Was it a sign that I just wasn't ready for this chapter in my life yet? I felt like maybe there was something I was supposed to do instead. So I started exploring my options and thinking about some dreams I have always had that I wouldn't be able to do if I had a baby. Most of them were pretty drastic, but I was in a place where I was actually considering doing some of them. I hadn't really talked to anyone about this except Kenzie, but one day it finally all came out to my lovely co-worker Erin. She was being so sweet and once I started talking to her about it, the words just kept coming. I respect Erin for a lot of things she has done. She has lived on the east coast and she even lived in Italy for a while. She travels a lot for our job and she is good at what she does. She is culturally educated and that makes me respect her opinion a lot. When I told her how I was feeling, she told me two things that may be some of the best advice I have ever received. 

A: You can be an extraordinary person, even if you live in the same small town your whole life. 

This struck me hard because I think I have always had the attitude that if I don't go achieve these big dreams  I have of helping sick children in Africa or traveling through Europe that I won't be living up to my full potential. And that is just not true. 

B: You can't live your life always wondering if you are missing out on something somewhere else. Otherwise we would all go crazy. I have done this a lot. I always wonder if I am where I am supposed to be and doing what I am supposed to do. But I have never had the attitude that I can CHOOSE where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to be doing. I worry that I am not living up to my potential.. But experiences aren't what make up my potential. It's traits and characteristics and the way I live my life. 

So after this profound talk with Erin, I was left to make a decision. Where do I go from here? I didn't have to think very long to realize that my location or my job weren't holding me back from anything. I needed to make some changes with myself to be a more extraordinary person. So that is just what I am doing. I am doing a makeover, inside and out. I have spend the last few weeks contemplating what I think makes a great person and one thing at a time, I am striving to become just that. Spiritually, educationally, physically, emotionally... the whole enchilada. I am thankful for such a caring co worker who helped me see that I am happy with my life. 

One Life to Live.

I am trying to live every day with the attitude that I need to be happy with myself and the way I live my life. I need to stop basing everything I do off of what people will say or think about me. The people who know and love me matter the most. Everyone's values are different. We all believe what we believe and I am going to strive to always live by what I believe.