A couple weeks ago, I had an experience at work that gave me the opportunity to really stop and think about my priorities and how I was spending my time. I talked to my boss one day and I left feeling like maybe working full time wasn't the best thing for me or my little family right now. When I was pregnant I knew I would come back to work quickly. I have SO much support around me that I knew Riken would be in good hands and that I wouldn't have to give up the job I love so much. But the last couple months have been harder than I anticipated. I was waking up early, getting myself and Riken ready for the day, meeting my mom in Chester so she could take him for the day, going out to work, working all day, going to pick him up, driving home, trying to get some dinner on the table, getting him bathed, and in bed. Then doing it all again the next day. Work has been VERY busy, and I just started to feel a lot of stress and pressure. I knew I wasn't able to give 100% to work OR Riken, and that was causing me a lot of anxiety. After talking to my boss I spent the next few days really searching for the right answer. Financially, I knew I needed to work. But every other part of me was telling me that I needed to be home. I was up at 1:30 that night feeding Riken, and after I got him back to sleep I could not fall asleep. My mind was just going and going and I couldn't shut it off. I don't pray nearly as often as I should, but I knew I needed to ask for some guidance. So I knelt in front on my couch in the living room and asked for a little peace of mind and some direction. As soon as I was done I could feel someone behind me. I even thought I felt the rug move. I turned around, but no one was there. I felt an instant feeling of comfort and I got back in bed and fell right to sleep. I didn't get an answer one way or the other, but I felt like whatever I decided, we would be okay and things would work themselves out. The next day I ran into a friend who mentioned an opportunity for me to teach some dance classes. I knew it was the answer I was looking for. I went in the next day and talked to my boss. He was very understanding and offered me a position with half the hours, but the same pay rate. I was happy to accept because I really do love Oxbow and the work we do. So now I will only need to work about 15 hours per week and I can spend the rest of the time with my boy. I will start teaching some dance classes when spring starts, which I am SO looking forward to. And between those two things, I think we will be okay financially. The biggest thing is that I will be here to see Riken crawl for the first time, take his first step, and say his first words. I can't imagine missing out on any of that. It is amazing how much being a parent changes you. The world revolves around my little family now and I feel so much happier already. My house is cleaner, the laundry is actually caught up, and I was able to sit down and make Rike a blanket last week because I finally had a little time. I know my mom is sad about not having Riken every day anymore, and I feel really bad about that. But I do think this is the right thing for me to do. I never thought being a stay at home mom was something I wanted, but I feel so good about it and I think it is the right thing for my family right now. I am so thankful for so many things. The support from Kenzie is amazing. When I talked to him about it, he told me that whatever I felt like I needed to do, he would support me and understand. My boss and co-workers have been very understanding and my family has been helpful as always. I am thankful that I trusted myself and did what I knew was the right thing. And mostly I am thankful for answered prayers and a little comfort when we need to make big decisions like this in life.
